Eyes Wide Open
by Jodie Takira
Summary: [I used to think I was the world...] To restore the Calm, only sacrifice could make the difference. All came to realize this. All either accepted it or ran. All but one. [What he came to understand. What she never would know.]


**All characters, places, sport(s), and general storyline concepts in this short story are copyright © 2001 to the wonderful artists and writers of Square Enix. This fanfiction was meant only to take a deeper dive into the interesting, yet often unrecognized character development of the main protagonist, Tidus. It is recommended that you play the game, Final Fantasy X, before reading this fanfiction, for it contains several spoilers.  
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_Zanarkand. Our final destination. Irony must be getting a kick out of this._

Tidus ran a hand through his hair as he stood at the cliffside; it overlooked the vast ruins of his home. Or what used to be his home a thousand or so years ago, anyway. It had only been a few months since his arrival to this foreign Spira and the start of his guardianship to Lady Yuna on her pilgrimage to ease Sin's grasp on this world. Before, he had only known very few things which swirled around one game: Blitzball. The cheers, the feel of the water caressing his body, the fans, but most of all, and his least enjoyed memory, his father, Jecht.

But he had found that Jecht was more than just a well known blitzball player like he was now. Now, his father was far more than he could have ever come to imagine. Or maybe he really could see it with Jecht's ego, but he just didn't want to realize what his father had become. In the end though, he had to accept it. His father was truely Sin, and they were going to have to stop him one way or another.

There were worse grounds to cover though, a trail he had kept quiet from the others, although he felt Auron probably knew the truth. But Yuna didn't... and he doubted that she would ever come to understand. His fate would not be with hers. The Fayth had opened his eyes to this. A depressing thought to behold, but yet he somehow managed to press himself forth. Calm would only come on one condition. That would be to see that the Fayth would be finally put to rest, the aeons silenced as well as the living dead.

_But do I really have to do this? Why can't we just run away? Together.. We can escape Sin! I can protect her! _

Tidus' hands gripped into fists as he tried to believe the fantasy beheld in his mind. They could always keep running. One place to the other, they could find some shelter and then continue forth. Aimless travelers they would become, but it would keep them together. Close. Forever.

_A kid's flawed dream.._

He realized this before he even thought it. Eventually, Sin would overtake all the towns, villages, cities, and they would be left with no where to go. Unless one of the other High Summoners reached the end of their pilgrimage, but even so, what if they all failed? There would truly be nothing left. Everyone would be left to struggle in the world until they died either by Sin or other causes. And it would be their weight. Their burden. Forever.

_But what about me? Why can't I live a long life? So much I haven't accomplished yet.._

But at what costs, Tidus swore he heard the Fayth muse. And they were right. When Tidus had first come to Spira, he had been alone, but he was still working with the fact that he was still home. Still alive. But his time had passed long ago. He was only a living memory, preserved only to fulfill his final purpose; then, he'd vanish much like he had appeared. That was his destiny. His meaning to the riches of life.

_But Yuna..._

Words would never be able to describe how he felt. Even their time at the lake wouldn't suffice. The thought of giving her up strangled his heart to the point that it was near pulsing its last beat. Seeing her alone without him had him aching. The thought of another taking her hand couldn't help but make him jealous. But he couldn't be selfish and ask her to never marry once he had gone from this world, right?

_It wouldn't be right.. or fair to her... but neither could this..._

Why did he keep the truth from her? Why couldn't he just downright tell her now instead of hiding it? It hurt enough to look into her two toned eyes and feel like they could already see the naked truth and were just waiting on him to speak it. But he knew that she didn't and felt that, somehow, they were better off this way. Maybe it was because if she knew, Yuna would try to end the pilgrimage. Because she wouldn't want him lost. But she couldn't do that. Not when they were so close.

Months ago, it would have been different. Then, he had been self-centered. Tidus had never really looked much into friendships or love. He felt they were just games like Blitzball. Games that were too much of a pain with the complexity of people. Tidus had only trusted people to be able to score a goal and pass the ball his way, but nothing more.

Now, it was different. He found himself surrounded by a closely-knit circle of friends. Sure, Auron wasn't one for words except when he felt something needed to be said, Rikku could be a bit hyper, and Lulu was bluntly honest. There was also Wakka who seemed like the exact opposite of Lu and Kimari who only spoke when spoken to, really. And, of course, there was Yuna. Some of them he hadn't quite completely figured out, but it didn't bother him so much that he had up and left the group. And they had really taught him a lot about life, probably more than he would ever know.

_I... I can't let them down._

Both his mind and his heart told him that much. That's what it all came down to. Sacrifices had always been made to keep the peace in the past during times of war. Now would be no different. It would never be different. But how...

_How will I make it up to her...?_

"...Tidus?"

The young man jumped slightly from his position before turning to face the one who had interrupted his thoughts. When blue eyes met two toned ones, he downcast his own.

"Is something wrong?"

Tidus shook his head a bit violently as he raised it, his arms seeming to follow his motions as they too reached upwards, hands waving a little.

"N-No! Nothing!"

Yuna stood her ground, unconvinced. Although there was no aggressive posture to her, for some reason, it just made Tidus feel worse, believing that she really did know the truth. Still, he fell silent, awaiting his sentence. He bit at his lip as his eyes traced hers, waiting.

"...I know it's hard for you to..."

Her brows furrowed slightly. Tidus' nerves felt like they were slowly being dissected by the mere seconds that passed in her silence. As it continued, so did his thoughts, tracing over his secret again and again until it drove him nearly to madness. Had to be said.. Had to be...

"Yuna, I..."

Yuna raised a finger to her lips with hesitance.

Bewildered, Tidus didn't know what to say at first. Wouldn't she have been yelling at him by now? No.. In his arms crying... He wasn't sure what would have been worse though. While an angry Yuna would be quite a surprising sight to behold, he also hated to see her cry. When she did, it was like he felt the same amount of pain she did at the moment. So why..-

"I know... It must be hard for you... to see Zanarkand like this..."

"But I..." Realization kicked in. "...Well... Can't say it's easy, if that's what you mean."

Yuna reached over hesitantly, gripping his hands with hers lightly, trembling.

"...I'm here for you if you need me though..."

_Yuna..._

Tidus gently removed his hands from her grasp. The young woman seemed confused until she found them wrapping around her in a warm embrace.

"...Yuna, thanks for...-"

"Hey, you two love birds! Let's get a move on, ya?"

Startled, the couple jumped slightly. Tidus was the first to break their sudden cut off silence with a nervous laugh. Carefully, he let go of her and started down the path after the others who stood several feet away, waiting impatiently. A few steps further and felt a hand seek his. Tidus sighed inwardly to himself as he carefully held onto her awaiting hand, pausing a moment to let her reach his side.

_Hope you'll understand. In the end, you'll always be the only one for me... but it had to be this way. _


End file.
